I hate the fact that other people are happy, and I'm the only one that's not. And the fact that there's no reason for me to be unhappy.

I'm unhappy because everyone else is happy, and I'm not.

yeah. i just want love.

you know what i want? i just want love. i want passion. so great you could scream. making me smile as we kiss for the thousandth time. as we make love so passionately the air is littered with our sweat. i want the feeling of knowing someone else felt it too. i want love. i want someone to share it with. someone to take home with. someone who will love me the same. someone who loves me more. someone who i don't have to worry about. someone who will love me no matter what i am. who i don't have to persuade. that when we kiss, there's a spark, the world stops moving. and we can feel it. someone who knows what i want. all along. someone who i don't have to try. we just fall into place. i want to love so passionately. it'll make the air scream in silence. i have asked myself what i have wanted. here's what i want. passionate love. so full of passion, the world stops in seconds while we wait there together. as our hearts stop, and the warmth of each other brings back rekindled memories of long forgotten times. maybe i need the same. there's a lack of love in my life.

and the fact that, somehow. you can't see it. well. that's just funnier to me. it just means, well. that i did look in the wrong place.

no more.

DarkerThanPitchBlack.tumblr.com

a lover's farewell.

My love, don't lose faith. i love you. always and forever. though we may part for now, hold your head up. they would love to see you fall. show them your strong side. think of me, and i'll be there. you only have to say the word. and i'll come running. just remember, that, you'll never be alone again. i'll be with you. forever. until death do us part. keep that smile on your face. because you're absolutely beautiful. there's so much more i have to say. but i must keep it short. remember me in your times of sadness. and just know that, somewhere, no matter where that is, i'll be thinking of you too. i will always cherish those times i've had with you. go on now, don't miss me. don't look back. i may be gone now, but i shall always remember you. always and forever. it's just you now, hold your head up, be proud. don't you ever forget, how we made each other feel. and as the days grow old, don't think for a moment, that i am happy where i am. because without you, i can never be happy. farewell, my love.

so, so naiive.

i feel so fucking stupid. the fuck was i thinking? no. i wasn't. i wasn't thinking at all. i need to really think about shit.

i just want, i just want love.

so what date is it, the 9th? well. it's another valentine's day... stuck. alone. i guess things didn't work out as i thought they would. it's depressing. and so, here's to another day, alone, stuck with my own sorrow. things never work out as they seem. it's funny, because i thought it would. here's to me. and to you. let's hope we're both happy.

i hate being alone.

"Years ago, I met my lover, oh how I wish, that we could meet again."





























DarkerThanPitchBlack.tumblr.com

tell me if you noticed.

and if you have, shh. let's keep it a secret.

everything is falling apart.

"All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I'll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out."

it's funny how people in your life come and go. it's funny how we all think they'll be here forever. and it's funny how, some eventually bring you to your senses. it's funny how people can jerk you back to reality, without saying anything at all.


i know now, who i need. and who i don't. i don't need you. i never did. i've crashed. from the highest point of disbelief, to the lowest depth of reality. this is me, climbing out of this hole of self depression, this is me, taking a hold of what i want. this is me, destroying any who get in my path. this is my conquest for happiness. and i refuse to let anyone get in the way.

tell them, before it's too late.

i don't know what to say.

i have always wanted to motivate people. get them to do something. with my words. i want my words to mean something. anything. i want them to make people realize what they're missing. i want them to know that i want that, badly. i just want you to know, that i want everything for you. everything possible. it may sound crazy. but you, who, read this, go out and live life. go out, and tell that person you're falling for, that, you love them. and that everything you do, is all for them. and how you can't wait to see them in your dreams, where you may only have them. tell that person how, you want them in your life. how you want them to know that. tell that person, they're everything you've always wanted. tell them you want love. tell them you've been broken before. tell that girl, that, she's beautiful, and and more. tell her, that she's beautifully intelligent. make her know that you can't keep these feelings inside. show her. make damn sure they know how you feel. tell that person, before they realize what they're missing. because in this world of complicity, the act of letting someone know, that you love them, is so simple.

i wonder why, i never wonder why.

i actually had nothing planned. if you take a look around, we're all motivated, by something, a need to excel, to prove something, whatever. it's funny how, it we all have that state of mind, where, nothing else matters. where, nothing is more important to us that moment than that dream, which motivates us. motivation is a powerful thing.

my fitness teacher keeps telling me that, a confidence means everything. i don't see it. confidence will only take you so far. i can only believe in myself to a certain extent. then my logic takes over. we all need, some amount of confidence, to boost us up in our low times.

"Just scratchin' around, for something to believe in."

it's funny how we think the world revolves around us. and it's funny how, a lot of the times. it does. people will always amaze me. to the extent to which they will go so far to say something, to ask something, to do something, to figure something out.

this, made me laugh. a lot.

i can never get it right.

fun fact of the fucking day ; life is unfair. people don't get what they deserve. i'm starting to learn, by the day. things don't happen as they should. it's not fair. it's not fair. nothing is fair. i don't get what i deserve. at all. i've tried and i've tried. and people tell me that things will get easier. i can't believe that. why can't i get the things i want? any of it? nothing at all. is coming my way, good things just aren't coming. i can't believe they'll just come all of a sudden. i hate life sometimes. i really do.

honest to god. you don't. stop trying.

i don't know why i waste fucking time on people, nah, fucking ignorants like you.